More time please

These days, I hardly find room to breathe (literally thanks to Alana's butt in my belly). Every year that passes, I think to myself, we'll I can't get much busier than this, and every year I'm proven wrong. From LVN to RN school, to a job, to planning a wedding and now having a child, I just wish there were more hours in the day. Every day it's work, meetings, home health visits, dinners, something to plan, all while trying to maintain my relationships with my family and friends. I'm a little worried about how things will be once Alana is here!

At work, I literally have my planner propped up on a stand all day, knowing that I'm going to have to jot something down on it. When I see a week empty, I know that it won't stay that way for long. There's always something to do. On top of it all, I'm still trying to find time to squeeze in a few extra visits with Accredited to save up money for my maternity leave. (I'm told by just about everyone that I won't see those checks till I'm about ready to go back to work) I thought that these visits would be easy, but being farther along in my pregnancy is proving to be a little difficult. I can't lift patient's legs to take care of wounds, I can't sit comfortably anywhere in their home because I know I'm going to have trouble getting up, I can't help my patient's ambulate because I can't lift anything heavy and if they fall, I won't be physically capable of catching them. It's so limiting and I hate this feeling of having to ask for help.

However, I think about what I will be getting in return for these minor inconveniences and I still sometimes can't imagine the feeling of actually holding her in my arms but I know that none of these problems will matter once she's here. The only thing I'm really nervous/scared about is the labor/delivery. I told my mom that we will either make really good or really bad patients. Both being nurses, and her an L&D nurse, those nurses at Providence Holy Cross will have their work cut out for them. My only request of my mom is that she make sure that I don't see the epidural needle.

85 more days...

Family time at Disneyland

This weekend, Posse planned a cruise to Ensenada, and because of my pregnancy, Francis and I decided not to attend. We found out later that we would have been unable to attend the cruise anyway because you have to be 25 weeks or less to board the ship. Being 28 weeks, I'm a little past the cutoff line. 
So to appease our boredom and feeling of being left out, we decided to plan a mini vacation to Disneyland :) For the next 4 days we will be staying at my sister's condo in Diamond Bar and it's all family time from there.

Friday: Arrive in Diamond Bar
Saturday: Disneyland, Francis' Mom's Birthday (watch Bridesmaids/eat at Joe's Crab Shack)
Sunday: Disneyland
Monday: Shabu-Shabu with Ate and Matt, Disneyland

As happy as I am to be going to the Happiest Place on Earth, I'm still a bit sad to be missing out on all the fun in Ensenada. I think the worst part about missing these kind of trips are hearing all the inside jokes when they get back. Don't get me wrong, I love hearing the stories, I just get sad that I wasn't there.

But on the flip side, it is nice having the extra time to spend with my family :)

Hello 3rd Trimester...

...goodbye to the comfortable 2nd trimester.

On Monday I was dead tired but I thought it was because of the hike we had over the weekend. Turns out that all the symptoms that so wonderfully disappear after the 1st trimester come back with a vengeance during the 3rd. I'm dead tired all day, running to the bathroom every 30 minutes, and Alana seems to be kicking, punching, or rolling on something nonstop. I am not looking forward to all the discomforts of the last trimester during the summer :(

However, I am getting really excited that in 3 short months I'm going to finally meet my daughter. Everytime I think about it I get a little teary eyed and can't wait for that moment when Francis and I finally meet her. It's all I seem to think about.

91 days left...

Exercise!??!?!

Since, I've gotten pregnant I've had to take a step back from running and doing any strenuous activity and I definitely felt how out of shape I am today. We went on a hike and my heart was pounding. At some points I felt cramping in my lower abdomen, but it wasn't too bad so I figured I could just keep going. After yesterday's ropes course, I was determined to participate in this social. I haven't really felt left out of anything until yesterday and I wasn't about to put myself in that situation since I had the choice.

 At this point I was already cramping, but luckily it stopped as soon as we 

started climbing. Weird how the easy downhill made me cramp but the climb didn't!

 The beginning of our trail

 

 AJ

Bobby

 

 Lily

 My preggy picture of the week

So basically, the goal of this hike was to protect an egg. Each team had to use all natural resources except for a long strand of yarn provided to protect an egg from breaking when thrown off a 15 foot cliff into a pond of water. Below are each teams finished products.

 Turdles

 Rippin' and the Tearin'

Little Green Giants

The Planners: Blue Banditos

At the end of the hike I could hear my heart pounding in my right ear but I was just tired, not in pain from the baby or anything like that. I tried to motivate myself when I saw another pregnant lady farther along in her pregnancy than I am and thought, " If she can do it, so can I!!" But now that I think of it, I never saw her on that trail...

Even though I will probably not step foot into another hike before I have Alana, I'm happy to say that I was able to do it :) 

Special thanks to Bobby for taking care of me and helping me through the trail!!!

Music

A few days ago I mentioned to Francis that I wanted to start playing music for her. I noticed that whenever there is loud good music playing, she kicks constantly. Not like those distressed kicks when something loud falls, but a series of constant little punches or kicks throughout the song. I considered buying one of those belly buds but with 3 months left and $100 for those things... I figured my iPhone resting on my belly would be just fine.

Yesterday a few of us went to hang out at a bar yesterday but before we did, they pre-partied at the good old "24 Our Bar" in Sonny's room. Of course, I was unable to join in on the festivities but no worries. I still know how to have a good time without the alcohol. For some reason we decided to start playing old school R&B songs and Alana seemed to be having a blast moving to the beat on my bladder. It was non-stop to the point where I started to feel a bit sick, but enjoyed myself regardless.

 

To me, music is such a huge part of my life and because of this I really hope that it becomes a part of hers as well. I think a part of me sometimes wishes that I pushed myself to learn more when it came to music but it was my own fault for not wanting to learn despite my parents push for me to learn piano. I remember singing and dancing for my family during parties and absolutely loving it, but soon after, I sadly learned self-consciousness and stopped performing. I hope that Alana doesn't follow in my footsteps. I hope she learns how to be confident and be proud of who she is regardless of what others think.

Finding time

Because of all that has been going on in our lives lately, it's hard to find time to just enjoy being married to Francis. I guess the girl in me just wants to have that time alone with him while we still have it. After the wedding, we didn't have a house to come home to, a real honeymoon to relax at, but we did have each other and honestly, I realize now that this is all I need. Sounds corny I know, but it's true.

I look back at our wedding that happened a little over a month ago and just couldn't have pictured a more perfect day. It was OUR dream wedding. I only wish that it didn't happen so quickly. During the wedding I kept being reminded to make sure I savor every moment and I thought I was, but before I knew it, I was walking back up to my room and changing out of my wedding dress. But regardless of how quickly the day went by, it was the wedding I have always pictured in my mind since I was a little girl. Getting married in Disneyland? Anyone who knows me knows at least that much.

I know my relationship with Francis will only grow stronger from here, but I'm going to miss our time alone.

These days, all of us are just so busy that its hard to find time to just call someone and say hello. I used to be able to call Vanessa, Monica and Michelle on an almost daily basis, but now it seems that our talks are few and far between. Although I still see them at the palace (and live with Monica) there just aren't enough hours in the day. I sometimes worry about how I'm going to juggle all of this when Alana comes, but I guess I'll just have to bring her along with me. I'm sure they won't mind...too much. I'll try to keep the stinky diapers and crying to a minimum.

Her heartbeat

The first time we "think" we heard Alana's heartbeat was during my ER visit at 5 weeks when I was bleeding and thought that something might be wrong. The ultrasound tech was apparently not able to show us the ultrasound or tell us what heartbeat we were hearing so we took a guess that what we heard was her little heart already beating.

During our visit to the OB today, Dr. Gabbay didn't do an ultrasound like she usually does but instead used the doppler to let us hear her heartbeat and Francis and I just looked at each other and smiled. Sadly Francis was recording it on his phone but it didn't save it, so hopefully during our next visit we can ask her to listen one more time.

It's times like this when I am just completely in awe about how this all happened. From having PCOS to being on the pill and being told I would have a difficult time getting pregnant, I think about how she's our little miracle baby. I can't wait till the day when I say to myself what my mom said when I was born, "She's beautiful and she's mine".

This was taken April 1, 2011 when we found out we were having a girl

My First Mother's Day

Being greeted Happy Mother's Day today really got me thinking a lot about what it is to be a mother. I honestly felt undeserving of the title. It's a little like a right of passage. I know I'm carrying Alana right now, dealing with sacrificing my body, being uncomfortable, not drinking, having to wake up at random hours of the night to pee, etc. But right now I don't really have a choice, she's literally attached to me. When a baby is born, there is a just a larger sacrifice made and a choice everyday to be a parent. I don't feel that sacrifice yet. It's easy to carry a baby in your stomach and get spoiled by everyone around you. It is much harder to raise a child.

I hate to say it but I'm only starting to understand what my parents meant now when they repeatedly told me, "Watch Annabelle. One day you'll know what I mean". I always knew in the back of my mind that they were right, but never really wanted to admit it. Yes I was a stubborn child...I hope Alana doesn't take after her mother!!!!!!!

So to all the amazing mothers out there, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

CPR

Today I had to renew my CPR/AED and my work generously allowed Francis to join in on the class. Francis figured that since we have a baby on the way, it might be a good idea to get some infant CPR training in.

Whenever I take these classes, I'm always reminded about how little I remember about these courses. No matter how many times you take it, there's always something that you're bound to forget. I guess that's why they make you renew it every 2 years.

I know it sounds really funny but when I was holding the baby doll, I got a little freaked out thinking about the fact that I'd be holding my own child in a little over 3 months. Sometimes when I get this stomach-turning feeling about being a mother, I try to divert my attention onto something else, but when you have a baby doll sitting in front of you through the entire class, it's a little hard not to think about it.

At least I have another 2 years before I have to do this again. Hopefully I'll never have to use these skills on Alana. My memory isn't exactly at its peak right now, darn hormones!

A weekend in SB

Thanks to Francis' coworkers at CMMeiers, Francis and I were able to spend 3 days relaxing in the Cheshire Cat Inn in Santa Barbara.

Right after work on friday, Francis and I were supposed to leave, but unfortunately my body was telling me otherwise. I got really sick and actually left work around 12:30pm. As soon as I got home I put my head on the pillow and slept until Francis got home from work. I woke up for a second only to sleep for another 4 hours. We ended up not leaving the valley until 9:00pm and checked into the bed and breakfast at 10:00pm.

Our key to Wonderland

The greeting and box of chocolates to welcome us into our room
(Took this the next morning)

The next morning we woke up to a breakfast of poached peaches and stuffed french toast. We indulged and used the massage gift certificate that my coworkers at Accredited gave Francis and I and went to a spa called "Belleza Vita" (guess why we chose this place :P). Since Francis and I have never gotten a massage before we were a little nervous but comforted at the fact that it would be a couples massage. As we were guided into the spa, we realized we weren't going to be in the same room! But regardless both of us walked out of the room relaxed and ready for the rest of the weekend.

After a stop at the inn, we headed over to the Santa Barbara Zoo. The #1 thing on my list was feeding the giraffes. Little did I know that these things have huge purple slimy tongues that will wrap around your hand if you hold the lettuce out too long. I squirmed, but got over it, giraffes are just too cute :)

Feeding the giraffe

Purple tongue?

My preggy picture of the week

The name train we bought for Alana

Before leaving, we had to write in a notebook left in the drawers of the room.
There were at least 5 notebooks filled with letters written to the inn
about how much the previous guests had enjoyed their stay.

On our last day in Santa Barbara, Francis and I decided to have a little picnic at the harbor and it was a nice close to our weekend. When I was still in school, I used to bring lunch for Francis at work and go to the park nearby. Our little picnic by the harbor made me remember those little moments.

This weekend our goal was just to relax and appreciate the little time alone that we have left before the little one comes and we definitely did. Thank you to our amazing coworkers who planned this little getaway for us!!! We had a great time :)