Finding time

Because of all that has been going on in our lives lately, it's hard to find time to just enjoy being married to Francis. I guess the girl in me just wants to have that time alone with him while we still have it. After the wedding, we didn't have a house to come home to, a real honeymoon to relax at, but we did have each other and honestly, I realize now that this is all I need. Sounds corny I know, but it's true.

I look back at our wedding that happened a little over a month ago and just couldn't have pictured a more perfect day. It was OUR dream wedding. I only wish that it didn't happen so quickly. During the wedding I kept being reminded to make sure I savor every moment and I thought I was, but before I knew it, I was walking back up to my room and changing out of my wedding dress. But regardless of how quickly the day went by, it was the wedding I have always pictured in my mind since I was a little girl. Getting married in Disneyland? Anyone who knows me knows at least that much.

I know my relationship with Francis will only grow stronger from here, but I'm going to miss our time alone.

These days, all of us are just so busy that its hard to find time to just call someone and say hello. I used to be able to call Vanessa, Monica and Michelle on an almost daily basis, but now it seems that our talks are few and far between. Although I still see them at the palace (and live with Monica) there just aren't enough hours in the day. I sometimes worry about how I'm going to juggle all of this when Alana comes, but I guess I'll just have to bring her along with me. I'm sure they won't mind...too much. I'll try to keep the stinky diapers and crying to a minimum.

Her heartbeat

The first time we "think" we heard Alana's heartbeat was during my ER visit at 5 weeks when I was bleeding and thought that something might be wrong. The ultrasound tech was apparently not able to show us the ultrasound or tell us what heartbeat we were hearing so we took a guess that what we heard was her little heart already beating.

During our visit to the OB today, Dr. Gabbay didn't do an ultrasound like she usually does but instead used the doppler to let us hear her heartbeat and Francis and I just looked at each other and smiled. Sadly Francis was recording it on his phone but it didn't save it, so hopefully during our next visit we can ask her to listen one more time.

It's times like this when I am just completely in awe about how this all happened. From having PCOS to being on the pill and being told I would have a difficult time getting pregnant, I think about how she's our little miracle baby. I can't wait till the day when I say to myself what my mom said when I was born, "She's beautiful and she's mine".

This was taken April 1, 2011 when we found out we were having a girl

My First Mother's Day

Being greeted Happy Mother's Day today really got me thinking a lot about what it is to be a mother. I honestly felt undeserving of the title. It's a little like a right of passage. I know I'm carrying Alana right now, dealing with sacrificing my body, being uncomfortable, not drinking, having to wake up at random hours of the night to pee, etc. But right now I don't really have a choice, she's literally attached to me. When a baby is born, there is a just a larger sacrifice made and a choice everyday to be a parent. I don't feel that sacrifice yet. It's easy to carry a baby in your stomach and get spoiled by everyone around you. It is much harder to raise a child.

I hate to say it but I'm only starting to understand what my parents meant now when they repeatedly told me, "Watch Annabelle. One day you'll know what I mean". I always knew in the back of my mind that they were right, but never really wanted to admit it. Yes I was a stubborn child...I hope Alana doesn't take after her mother!!!!!!!

So to all the amazing mothers out there, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

CPR

Today I had to renew my CPR/AED and my work generously allowed Francis to join in on the class. Francis figured that since we have a baby on the way, it might be a good idea to get some infant CPR training in.

Whenever I take these classes, I'm always reminded about how little I remember about these courses. No matter how many times you take it, there's always something that you're bound to forget. I guess that's why they make you renew it every 2 years.

I know it sounds really funny but when I was holding the baby doll, I got a little freaked out thinking about the fact that I'd be holding my own child in a little over 3 months. Sometimes when I get this stomach-turning feeling about being a mother, I try to divert my attention onto something else, but when you have a baby doll sitting in front of you through the entire class, it's a little hard not to think about it.

At least I have another 2 years before I have to do this again. Hopefully I'll never have to use these skills on Alana. My memory isn't exactly at its peak right now, darn hormones!

A weekend in SB

Thanks to Francis' coworkers at CMMeiers, Francis and I were able to spend 3 days relaxing in the Cheshire Cat Inn in Santa Barbara.

Right after work on friday, Francis and I were supposed to leave, but unfortunately my body was telling me otherwise. I got really sick and actually left work around 12:30pm. As soon as I got home I put my head on the pillow and slept until Francis got home from work. I woke up for a second only to sleep for another 4 hours. We ended up not leaving the valley until 9:00pm and checked into the bed and breakfast at 10:00pm.

Our key to Wonderland

The greeting and box of chocolates to welcome us into our room
(Took this the next morning)

The next morning we woke up to a breakfast of poached peaches and stuffed french toast. We indulged and used the massage gift certificate that my coworkers at Accredited gave Francis and I and went to a spa called "Belleza Vita" (guess why we chose this place :P). Since Francis and I have never gotten a massage before we were a little nervous but comforted at the fact that it would be a couples massage. As we were guided into the spa, we realized we weren't going to be in the same room! But regardless both of us walked out of the room relaxed and ready for the rest of the weekend.

After a stop at the inn, we headed over to the Santa Barbara Zoo. The #1 thing on my list was feeding the giraffes. Little did I know that these things have huge purple slimy tongues that will wrap around your hand if you hold the lettuce out too long. I squirmed, but got over it, giraffes are just too cute :)

Feeding the giraffe

Purple tongue?

My preggy picture of the week

The name train we bought for Alana

Before leaving, we had to write in a notebook left in the drawers of the room.
There were at least 5 notebooks filled with letters written to the inn
about how much the previous guests had enjoyed their stay.

On our last day in Santa Barbara, Francis and I decided to have a little picnic at the harbor and it was a nice close to our weekend. When I was still in school, I used to bring lunch for Francis at work and go to the park nearby. Our little picnic by the harbor made me remember those little moments.

This weekend our goal was just to relax and appreciate the little time alone that we have left before the little one comes and we definitely did. Thank you to our amazing coworkers who planned this little getaway for us!!! We had a great time :)

Sickly

So ever since I got pregnant, my immune system has been pretty much nonexistent. The office that I work at seems to be a nesting ground for germs. Some of my coworkers have even threatened to turn me into "Bubble Boy" to keep me from getting sick.

Of course it's my luck to get sick right as Francis and I are about to go to Santa Barbara for the awesome trip that his coworkers generously paid for. To top it off, my coworkers also gave us a gift certificate for Spafinder.com! Hopefully I'm not coughing and hacking while I'm trying to relax :o)

His first kick

Francis finally felt Alana kick for the first time today! It's times like this when I regret that I didn't have a camera handy to capture these moments, but I guess writing about it will just have to do. (I probably had my iPhone with me, but I was too caught up in the moment to care about taking a picture)

I put his hand on my stomach and I knew that he was already feeling the kicks but they were so small that he kept saying that it was just me moving...until the one huge kick that said, "DADDY! I'M RIGHT HERE!!!" And if you're a mommy yourself you know as well as I do that we feel it throughout the day, kicking and punching everything within her reach. But I wouldn't take it back for the world.

I look back on the day when we found out we were pregnant and it's all passing by so quickly. Before I know it we will be moving out of the Palace and into my parents house and it's going to be such a huge change for us. No more parties going on downstairs while I try to rest, no more knocks on my door to tell me that my roomies love me, no more drunken talks in the house at 3 in the morning. I'll definitely miss these moments. The other day all the roomies had dinner together and I just started to get sad that we would no longer be living there. But things change and we knew this day would come eventually. I just didn't know it would be this soon.

I look at my growing belly and realize that in a few short months I'm going to have a family! I feel like I've been looking forward to this moment for my whole life. With my problems with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome I thought I might never be able to have kids so having Alana despite the obstacles is definitely a blessing :o)